Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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