dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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