LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
