So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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