I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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