i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
