I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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