Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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