i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Actions speak louder than pants.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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