Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
