thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
