what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
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