I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
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I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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