Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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