This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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