I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
that's an acceptable place to lick
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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