Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
