that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
