Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
