i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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