my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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