dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
