I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
