i don't like sucking hair
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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