Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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