white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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