a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
