Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
