i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize