Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
