I accidentally had phone sex last night
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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