so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
