Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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