I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Send help, water and tortillas.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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