I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I want to fling myself into the sun
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
