I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
where are my pants?
in the oven.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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