is your mom at the bar?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
