I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
