last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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