I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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