If i come over, it means nothing
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
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