We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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