Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
