Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Randomize