At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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