New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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