dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
