Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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