We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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