wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
My life is pants optional.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
