i need an iv and a liver transplant
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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