He is such a slut. More and more my type.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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