so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
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Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
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The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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