I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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