next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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