I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
