I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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