At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
