just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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