sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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