Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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